“Quick! Before the dragons go fucking awry!” Dillon shouted.

The year was 2356, one hundred years after the World Portal opened. Science and technology had become very advanced, catapulting human civilization to previously unimaginable heights.

Yet, even when knowledge of nature and reality seemed almost God-like, unexpected occurrences still appeared out of nowhere. Things such as Whisper getting excited and pissing on the floor.

Anyways; the World Portal, a manifestation of dimensional collision, turned the seemingly known universe upside down. What entered this dimension was magic; and all the creatures and vegetation associated with it. A blend of advanced society and medieval fantasy magic blurred the lines between fiction and reality.
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In a solar system far away from Earth, existed a planet much like our own; except we didn’t fuck it up this time. This planet was named Vispia; enhanced by the World Portal to include many exotic plants and creatures.

Dragons emerged from existence; their knowledge, patience and wisdom contributing to the overall well-being to all who shared it. As mature as humanity liked to think they became, they were still animistic in nature; and so were far from infallible. Hence the creation of this comedic journey.

The Council of Dragons were getting pissed off. They were arguing with the Council of Men; a union of sorts that let people get away with debauchery and whatever stupid shit they happened to do involving hedonism and chaos.
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Their worldview was this: Since humanity had ascended to such grand heights, they encouraged people to act in as belligerent and beast-like a manner as possible in order to remain connected to their animistic essence; else it would be lost.

Should they become more refined and pure, they would evolve past the point of being human, causing the extinction of the human race.

The elves acted as intermediaries between humans and dragons. They had no official counsel, and simply believed in living as one with nature, though they volunteered for certain tasks that they felt was for the greater good.

Elves were beings of magic, like dragons, yet possessed the same anatomical form as humans; striking the perfect balance to ensure that the needs of all races were met. As they were trusted by all races, they were voted to have the majority of control over the distribution of wealth, fairly allocating it where deemed necessary.

Only a small number of elves volunteered to stand guard for debate proceedings; soon you will understand why.

“We need more fucking money!” Richard demanded, slamming his fist on the table. Richard was a skinny man, who had a blonde goatee, with short blonde hair.

“The people are becoming wiser. More spiritual. Less socially dependant. We can’t have this! Ad campaigns need to be seen and heard as far as the eye can see, reminding people that we need to drink, and smoke, and fuck. Preferably everywhere!”

The rest of the Council of Men cheered, all in absolute agreement. They sat at one table, dressed in togas in the fashion of ancient Roman senators.

Across from them were the Council of Dragons, laying on comfortable mattresses at their own table, watching their opposition with patience stretched thin. Moari, the elder of the Council of Dragons, slightly stirred.

“Why are you so afraid of humanity evolving? Do you all not enjoy the fruits of what became of your species’ advancement so far? Why wither in a state of stagnation?” 

The dragons subtly hummed in agreement.

A big, short man named Andy, sat next to Richard. He had black hair in the style of a mullet, with an unkempt scraggly black beard. He was eager to respond.

“We continue to honour our ancestors by remaining true to what we are; human. Do you suggest we dishonour our forefathers by throwing away our heritage? Why would you invite such shame in this debate house?”
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The Council of Men nodded in agreement. Another, Clayton, stood up to address the house.

“Richard has the proper proposal. We need ad money, to encourage people to act in matters of the flesh. What is living without pleasure?? It’s fucked! It is not the way our predecessors would approve of. We WILL receive that ad money! We WILL continue humanities march of hedonistic buffoonery. And you will NOT hold us back from achieving our goals! We will not sit around like frightened rabbits waiting to get fucked!” he proclaimed, shaking his fist at the dragons in defiance.

The Council of Men cheered with passion, giving Clayton a standing ovation.

Shamiri, a younger dragon, stepped in. “Look at yourselves! You claim to be filled with pride?? What would happen if we let you, in your words, ‘smoke and drink and fuck everywhere’? How would we ensure public safety??”

“Safety is a lie, dragon!" Andy countered. “We could die any time! As advanced as we are, there are too many variables to account for every possible way of dying at all times. Your argument is meaningless!”

Shamiri raised an eyebrow. “And the negative influence on younger humans? How would their innocence be preserved while witnessing such base behaviour out in the open?”

The dragons silently agreed, looking toward their opposition with concern.

Richard scoffed, scrambling to form an argument. “You think your race is so perfect, so pure and without flaw, yet your intelligence is lacking! We NEED to maintain our core values as to what it means to be human! We may require to co-exist, but you must remember; YOU – co-exist –with US. We were here first!” Richard yelled, spittle dampening his beard. The council cheered.

The youngest dragon, Whisper, had lost patience. “You say that WE lack intelligence?? Go look in the mirror, and wipe the spit from your chin you degenerate fool”.

“Go fuck yourself!” Richard barked, throwing a half eaten apple at him. It was time for the elves to step in.

“Enough! All of you!” Herindal shouted. “None of you can clearly come to an agreement at this time; as of now this debate is adjourned. Return tomorrow when your heads have cooled off”.

Richard spat on the floor distastefully, then grabbed his cock, shaking it at the dragons, leading the Council of Men out of the debate chamber. The dragons decided to stay there a while longer, talking among themselves while occasionally napping.

The next day they arrived at the same time, late afternoon. The elves anxiously stood guard, waiting for shit to go down.

“After hearing your reasoning on both sides, we have come to a decision.” Caycelyn, one of the elves, looked sharply at the Council of Men.

“You will not receive the funds for your ad campaign at this time”.

The council roared, shouting in belligerence, throwing their arms up in the air like savage gorillas. It was surprising that they didn’t throw shit at everyone.

“Settle down!” an elf named Torriek urged. “We will keep your campaign in consideration AFTER you have given us convincing enough reasons to do so."

It was Andy's turn to yell. “You’re supposed to be our friends! You fucking backstabbing, double-timing snake-in-the-grass whores!”

“WE, are not ONLY your friends, but their friends too”, Herindal pointed toward the dragons, laying at their table contently. Some were snickering low enough for no one else to hear.

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Clayton struggled to stand straight and tall; he had more than a few drinks before the meeting began. “Once a whore, always a whore, right elf?? I hope the scales didn’t slice your tongue after licking their ball sacks!”

Torriek gestured a motion to halt everyone in the chamber. He faced The Council of Men, trying to state facts in a calm manner to de-escalate the situation.

“When you come up with reasonable arguments we can all agree with, you will get your funding. Until then, let us lay this matter to rest”.

“Bullshit!” Andy yelled. 

“Horseshit!” Richard chimed in.

“Everyone may go” Herindal sighed, as he left the room first. The rest of the elves followed, except for one. This elf was known as Preckle. He gave a long look of sympathy at the Council of Men before leaving the chamber to join the rest of the elves. Both councils went their own separate ways, leaving the debate chamber in silent tension.


The Council of Men reconvened later that night. They gathered at a futuristic bar, with white, oddly shaped decor with fake natural light shining through the building. The building had a false, although convincing, open-concept structure.
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Richard slammed his pint on the table. “Fuck!” he growled, very displeased with how the proceedings went. “They betrayed us! They KNOW what it means for us to be free” he hissed venomously.

Andy nodded in agreement. “The elves act as if they’re neutral, but it doesn’t seem that way. Fuck them, and their stupid little plants, and their snakes tongue of fucking lies that they use to tickle each other's assholes”.

Clayton sat at the end of the table, next to Richard. He continued drinking, well past the point where he should have stopped. “I still think they licked the dragon’s ball sacks” he giggled.

Richard shoved Clayton off the bench, ignoring him as he fell hard on the floor. He lay there, passed out in his own stupidity.

Preckle arrived in the bar, seeking out the Council of Men.

“What the fuck do you want, elf?” Andy demanded.

Preckle shrugged nervously. “I don’t believe the elves have treated you fairly”, he admitted.

“No, you fucking think so? What gave you that bright idea you fucking hypocritical hippopotamus”? Richard remarked, prideful in what he believed was a clever statement.
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Preckle ignored him. “I have a solution. Elves are immune to substances of inebriation. Dragons, however, are not."

Richard raised an eyebrow. “Go on”.

Preckle hesitated, gathering his thoughts. “There is a plant known as ‘Mulchweed’ which the dragons are known to avoid. The effects are a balance of alcohol and LSD. I can leave to go gather some; what you do with it is up to you. I’ll be back in an hour”.

With that, Preckle left the Council of Men to their own devices.

“Finally, the table turns” Andy murmured to the group.

“The righteous will always triumph!” Richard cheered, raising his glass. “We’ll show those boring, selfish self-centred motherfuckers who’s right! We’ll all live free!”

The Council of Men cheered, encouraging each other while celebrating the victory close at hand.

Preckle arrived as promised, wearing a sketchy get-up while acting equally as sketchy – while holding a bag of herbs said to sink the dragons down to their level. Preckle gave them the bag without saying anything, disappearing into the night.

“Right now is the moment to strike” said Andy. The others agreed. “What about him?” a member of the council asked. He was referring to Clayton.
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“Fuck him, he’s an idiot”, another exclaimed. No one went back for him.

The Council of Men snuck into The Dragon’s Courtyard, where they usually gathered for meals and leisure. As dragons were not a fan of technology, security was lacking; to the point of not existing at all. Maybe Richard was onto something when belittling their intelligence.

In the middle of the courtyard was a well the dragons took turns drinking from. The dragons surrounding it were all sleeping.

“Now’s our chance!” Richard whispered in a giddy tone, barely able to contain his excitement.
They threw handfuls of the herbs down the well, then stealthily disappeared, no one the wiser.

The next day dragged on, nothing out of the ordinary happening among the dragons. The Council of Men were monitoring the situation carefully.

“What the fuck!” Richard complained, not knowing why their mission was unsuccessful. “We did what the elf asked, what now??”

Clayton, hungover yet still somewhat coherent, contributed to the discussion. “Perhaps the Elf was testing us, and tricked us. They did before after all.. Double-timing whores was a fitting name for them. I bet they fornicate with their plants after they’re done fucking each other”.

“Enough!” Andy exclaimed in a sharp tone. “Any other ideas?”

Another member of the council spoke up. “Perhaps it takes longer than we would expect? Maybe we should be patient”.

Richard disagreed. “Fuck that! I want results now!”

Andy lifted a calming hand toward Richard. “I think he’s right. Lets wait it out”.

Later that night, while still keeping a close eye on the dragons, they noticed subtle changes in the dragons’ behaviour.

Their movements started getting sluggish and sloppy. They started slurring words, and laughing wholeheartedly with innocent joy. The Council of Men approached The Dragon’s Courtyard, making themselves known. Andy was the first to make a move.

“Greetings, fair dragons. We would like to apologize for our ignorant, ape-like behaviour lately. We would like to put it all behind us, and start-”

One of the younger dragons, with rich red scales, started laughing at them. “WE are the one's to apologize! You were right! We need to eat! Sleep! And FUCK!!” He giggled, rolling over onto his side.

“Drapunda! Have some self control”, Moari, the elder dragon chided. He stumbled over soon after, puking on the courtyard.

“Elder! Are you okay??” a female dragon asked.

Moari grunted in agitation. “Fuck off” he growled lowly. The dragons gasped in shock, bursting out laughing shortly after. The elder included.

Richard, in high spirits, addressed the intoxicated dragons. “Shall we bring drink and enjoy this celebration of life with you all??”

The dragons all roared in excitement. The Council of Men had lots of wine and beer already close by, bringing it to the courtyard to share with the dragons.

By the next hour, the courtyard became the biggest center of debauchery in the entire world.

Whisper was the most influenced of the dragons by the herbs effects, stumbling towards the Council of Men. “Yes, hehehe, bring more drink! Lots!”

He braced himself in an indecent position.

“HEY! Watch this!! I’m soooooo fucking funny!!!!!!”

Whisper started pissing on the stone floor of the courtyard, while laughing uncontrollably. The Council of Men, along with the Council of Dragons, praised and cheered with approval.

The Council of Men invited other humans to the party. It was a party worthy of record for the entire fucking universe.

The dragons were the most ridiculous. They ate piggishly, occasionally puking. They partook of the humans’ alcohol, despite the fact that it didn’t get them drunk. The dragons were fucking in the courtyard. All according to Councils’ plan.
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In the background the humans were drinking while fucking, the dragons were fucking; a fever of hedonism in overdrive washing over the courtyard at this marvelous occasion. Most of the humans were drunk. Some more than others.

Richard, the most intoxicated out of all of them, struggled in his drunken state to crawl up a stairway. It lead to the top of a stone ledge, perched twenty feet higher than the dragons' drinking well - high above the crowd. He managed to get there while still holding onto his mug of wine.

He managed to stand, swaying back and forth, and pounded back the last of the wine in his mug. He then threw the empty mug carelessly to the wind. The mug shattered on the ground, barely missing everyone. All eyes were now on Richard, looking up toward him in expectation.

Now that he had their undivided attention, he looked down at everyone gathered - with great pride.

He addressed the crowd: stretching his arms as wide as he could, he shook his fists in belligerence, looking towards the sky.

“SALVATION TIME!!!!!!!!” He roared, shortly after falling off the ledge and into the well. Water splashed over everyone as they cheered.

A few humans sober enough to pull him out of the well did, saving Richards’ life. The party continued without delay.

Later into the night, the dragons slowly started to sober. The few humans left sober enough to care started to panic.

“We have to go!” Dillon said, trying to talk sense into the remaining humans that were still capable of reason. A few others were starting to get anxious as well.

“I agree. We need to go. NOW”, another member of the council warned. The dragons were beginning to regain sense, wondering what had happened.

“Quick! Before the dragons go fucking awry!” Dillon shouted.

The humans rushed to leave the courtyard, leaving the place a total shit hole.

Despite the potential danger, most of The Council of Men and the women they were fucking carelessly continued the celebration of debauchery. The dragons, now sober, looked around with white hot fury. They looked down at Richard as he began to awaken.

“You fuckers still down to party!? We’ve got lots of booze left, I’ll go bring it right-”

Moari, the elder dragon, stomped on Richard – crushing him instantly. His untimely death served as a warning for those who dared to test the integrity of the dragons.

The dragons roared in embarrassment over everything that had happened. They slaughtered everyone else still stupid enough to stay there and party.

What was left of the Council of Men was disbanded the next day, forced into exile for their ungodly idiocy. They brought other people with them that shared their values.

They all ended up in an anarchistic society, drinking and fucking out in the open. They drank and fucked all day. They drank and fucked all night. Thus was a new birth of a promising civilization.