In the secluded sanctuary of St. Bibi's was a cathedral, notable for its towering, rustic spires, and stained glass art work.

Outside the staircase leading to the massive wooden doors, posed a bronze dragon statue. It grimaced in pain; a testament to the power of faith.

“It looks like it’s taking a shit”, Marvin whispered to another priest, giggling like a little girl. The other priest hit him with his broom, then continued to sweep, ignoring him.

The priests wore stereotypical black robes, with their heads shaved. Many of the priests there were secretly full of mischief and dreams of elaborate scheming. They spoke to each other freely – only while whispering.

A group of nuns approached the cathedral, beginning their ascent up the ancient stairway. Marvin and the other priest continued sweeping the landing, right outside of the massive wooden doors. The nuns continued moving forward, pretending that the priests weren’t there.
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As the nuns moved farther ahead, Marvin stood outside the right door, quickly jutting his head inside – a perverted smile stretched far and wide. With wide eyes filled with excitement, he started panting heavily, like a rabid dog in heat.

He turned his head sharply left to look at the other priest. The other priest looked back at Marvin, a stoic expression on his face. Marvin continued to pant heavily, as he took his broom, and made humping motions with it toward the nuns.

He was right out in the open; all the nuns needed to do was look back and he would have been exposed.

“Get back to work you fucking idiot!” the other priest whispered. “If you get caught, I’ll go down with you. Cease humping immediately!”

Elsewhere in the cathedral, other sacrilegious acts were taking place. A priest named Michael held a bottle of wine with both hands, respectfully admiring its holy contents. He faked a motion stocking it below the alter, while fastening it to a leather strap around his leg. The robe hid it well enough not to be noticed easily.

He gracefully made his way back to the priests’ dormitory, making sure to avoid eye contact with the nuns that were about to pass by. "Fucking idiots", he whispered to himself, careful not to let anyone hear him chuckle.

He made it back to the dorms, all the while making sure he wasn’t being followed. He walked into his dorm, stealthily approaching his bunk-mate, sleeping on the bottom bunk.

“Hey! Wake up, dickhead!” Michael whispered, gently slapping him across the face. He stirred, eventually to awaken.

“You’re lucky I didn’t slap you with my dick you lazy bitch; how are you still in bed??”

The other priest grunted, sitting up straight. “If you slapped me with your dick you would be the first eunuch to walk the halls of Bibi. I must piss. Make way, you filthy fucking bastard”.

Michael giggled, pulling up his robe.

“I’m serious Michael, I WILL cut off your – oh, shit, where did you get that??”

Michael continued giggling, dancing with the bottle of wine with a bright smile. He looked at it lovingly. Maybe too lovingly.

He started making out with the bottle, his tongue darting back and forth, eventually peeling the now wet paper label. The label that once read:

“Made by priests of unwavering faith - with devotion to purity”.

Michael’s bunk-mate shook his head in despair.

“You need help. I was going to ask you for some of that wine, but forget it. It’s been tainted by your foul touch of perverted insolence. Not even the highest of holy water can cure the disease running through your fucking brain. Now move before I piss myself!” he whispered.

Michael continued to giggle, pulling out the cork of the wine bottle with a pop. The sleepy priest sluggishly made his way to the pissing ledge, while Michael watched him; wine spilling down his chin as he continued piggishly drinking out of the bottle.

Meanwhile, other acts of abomination were at play.. 

Far below the halls of the cathedral was the crypt. It laid to rest many priests before them, serving as a resting place for their bodies as their souls ascended to heaven.

Around the wall was a corner – a dead end – where a priest named Karl was jerking off. He was jerking off to a lewd painting hidden inside of a bible. Marvin was the one who had painted it.

Another priest, sent down there to help Karl re-light candles, stumbled upon his heinous act of indecency.

“Well Well”.. Hugo, another priest said from behind him. “Oh my, Karl. This is quite the holy hooley!"

Karl turned to look at him, and smiled, still jerking off. He looked away, once again facing the corner to conclude business. Hugo was humming a hymn, re-lighting the passage way of the crypt; honouring the priests that served before them.

Karl farted as he blew his load all over the painting – tarnishing it forever.

“You selfish piece of shit!” Hugo growled, bearing his teeth, as he threw the candle lighter to the ground.

“I was going to use that later! You took a fucking masterpiece, and RUINED IT! molested it! Then handed it to FUCKING Satan. You pig!!” he whispered venomously.

Karl chuckled to himself, gasping for air in euphoric relief.

“You ignorant fucking bastard” Hugo whispered.

Karl was still lost in post-nut clarity. “Relax. Marvin will make another. I’m sure he’s making one somewhere right now” Karl consoled.

“That’s not the point fuck head!” Hugo growled. “That was MY favourite painting; something that will never be made the same ever again! The others will learn of this.”

Karl laughed quietly to himself. “I’ll make sure to stain the next one too”.

Hugo grabbed Karl, taking him to the ground, forcing him into a headlock. “Not if I fucking kill you first!” Hugo quietly spit with rage.

Another priest was sent down to help them, as they should have finished their task and returned by now.

“Brothers!” The new priest whispered, rushing to the scene. “What’s become of you to engage in such folly??”

Hugo grimaced at the new priest, as he retained his choke hold on Karl – with full intention of strangling the life out of him. “This degenerate fucking cocksucker soiled our painting Bill! He has to die!”

The new priest, Bill, tried to pull him off of Karl.

“Violence is not the answer! If we kill him, the guards we be dispatched, monitoring our every move. There will be no more paintings then!”

Hugo kept his strangle hold on Karl, continuing to choke the life out of him.

“Stop this!” Bill cried quietly. “We’ll discuss suitable punishment. Release him at once!”

Hugo reluctantly threw Karl to the side, where he began gasping for life saving air.

“Very good. Karl! Apologize right now!” Bill whispered.

Karl continued gasping for air. “Never”, he weakly groaned. “I meant what I did – and have no regrets”.

Angered beyond belief, Hugo started kicking him mercilessly.

“Enough! ”Bill whispered. “It is clear that Karl is not of his right mind; an exorcism will be scheduled tonight. Leave. Both of you!”

Bill finished the task that they failed to finish, while the other two priests walked up the stairway to the main hall.

Marvin was hard at work, painting a new masterpiece of a nun with her tits hanging out. He was painting on the back side of a bible page he had ripped out. Giggling with artistic menace, he continued this unholy act hidden away from prying eyes.

Emerging from the shadows was Bill. He had finished lighting the candles.

“We have a situation”, he mumbled reverently, his hands cupped while bowing his head. “Karl has been lead astray – he bastardized your work in the most degrading manner. It was shameful.. Something has to be done”.

Marvin, lost in thought while continuing his artwork, kept working. He kept his eyes on his work when he replied “Perhaps an exorcism is overdue; he has been unruly. The brotherhood cannot allow this kind of dishonour to disgrace our fellowship”.

Marvin, eyes wide with perverted genius, had finished his next piece of depraved artistry. Bill bowed to his wisdom. “An exorcism it is then, as I have suggested. If he does it again, I’m not sure he’ll live through the other priests’ fury. They will kill him”.

“No” Marvin replied. “If he does it again, we’ll frame him so that the bishop kills him”. He smiled with maniacal glee.

Later that night they gathered in a secret room; meant for brothers of the faith that showed disrespect.

Michael managed to steal six more bottles of wine – which he had not corrupted with sexual villainy. They took turns drinking out of the bottles; becoming intoxicated as sacred ritual demanded it.

“Strap this filthy motherfucker to the chair” Hugo growled. It took every ounce of will power not to strangle him again.

“Brothers!” Michael proclaimed, holding onto a bottle of wine. “Tonight we reclaim the soul of the one who has strayed from the path! He has been misguided, and requires intervention. Commence ritual!”

Each of the priests poured a little wine on their fingers, flicking it at Karl, who was now strapped to the chair. Karl began to growl, pissed off, with demonic fervour.

Bill rushed to gather Marvin’s work hidden in a bible. He had seven paintings glued to the seams – the other paintings were hidden in another bible; far away for safety.

Bill thrust forth the first painting in front of Karl, holding it six inches away from his face with great authority and strength. Karl, now fully possessed by demonic spirits, stuck his tongue out - his tongue sloppily dancing from side to side - trying to defile Marvin’s sacred work.

Hugo swung an empty wine bottle at Karl’s head; a dull ring echoing throughout the chamber.

“The power of porn compels you!” Michael said, flicking more wine at him. Karl continued to growl, his body contorting, restrained under leather straps.

“Try again!” Hugo whispered. Bill nervously fumbled with the bible, flipping the page to the next painting. He thrust it forward again. Bart continued shifting in his chair, attempting to jerk off.

“Release me!” he growled in a deep demonic voice. “The paintings! I will cum on them! Forever smeared and sullied they will be mine.” He grinned deviously. Once again his tongue attempted reach.

Michael was the next to swing an empty wine bottle at his head. “Leave him. FUCKER!! You will be banished from this hallowed sanctuary of perversion! Begone you filthy demon whore!”

The bishop stormed into the hidden exorcist chamber.

“What is the meaning of this!” he roared, shocked and enraged by the obscene mockery of his craft.

“Your holiness!” Hugo yelled, pretending to be glad for his assistance. “One of the brothers, Karl, has been possessed! Look at him!”

Karl licked his lips, staring at everyone intently. “I want the porn, father, I want it now!” he giggled demonically.

“What profanity has he described??” The Bishop demanded.

Michael took one for the team, offering distraction. “Father, you have not yet engaged in ritual! Partake of this wine, after I douse you with its holy power!”

He started flicking wine at the Bishops’ marvellous white robe, covering it with dabs of red. Bill desperately tried to hide the bible containing lewd paintings from plain sight.

“You idiot!!” The bishop barked at Michael. “The holy garment has been stained by your insolence. You will be punished once this is over!”

Karl, still possessed, chimed in. “Show me the porn; where is it! I must see it!”

The bishop inspected the room, looking for Marvin’s artwork. The bishop marched over to where Bill was, looking beneath the shelf where he stood. The bishop found the unholy bible.

“NOOOOOO!!!” Hugo yelled, for the first time, running over to Karl. He mercilessly swung the empty bottle of wine at his head, swinging it at him back and forth, bashing his skull in.

The bishop inspected the paintings, shock and horror flashing across his face. “You will all be sent to priest prison. All of you! Guards, take them away!”

Hugo dropped the wine bottle, strangling Karl with both hands – with all his might. “Not until this fucker dies first!!” He assaulted him with unfettered rage, appearing more demonic than the possessed priest strapped to the chair.

“You fucking traitor!! I’ll send you to hell where you belong you fucking piece of shit!!”

The guards took away the priests, taking them to the main hall to be tried for their sins. The bishop carried out the exorcism alone, with no guards around as witnesses. The bishop leaned closer to Karl's face, inches away, staring at him intently.

“Before I send you away, demon, answer me this. Is there any more of the porn hidden?? If so where?”

The traitorous priest cackled, laughing with demonic energy. He told him everything he needed to know.

A perverted smile slowly split across the bishop’s withered face. “Good. I’ll be back for you, demon. Right now I’m going to go jerk off”.